Blog #27 – The Continuing Change

It has been a while since I last posted a blog and it feels weird to be writing now. I think a lot of my writer’s block and hesitation to blog has been because it was hard to write down all the thoughts in my head, and be able to verbalize all the roller coaster of emotions and experiences, that I have been going through during the past year. I have experienced a lot of self doubt and trying to figure out where my place in the world belongs. I have been questioning my career and where I fit in.  This past year, to be totally honest, I started to resent myself, my art and everything around me. I stopped applying for auditions after being sick all last audition season and just needed time to stop and regroup. I took on a full-time work contract in addition to my full teaching schedule and lost myself in the shuffle. 

After June came around, summer slowed down all my work and I decided to spend the summer working on the things I have really been wanting to focus on. I started singing music for fun again (What a concept!). Singing musical theater, pop and anything that just sparked the joy. I also began taking musical theater classes and finding my love for performing.

Next up, I began a new fitness routine. As someone who has an autoimmune disease, I just want to feel good. Believe it or not, it’s rare that I have a day where I feel absolutely great. Being fit for me is an important part of that and keeps both my body and mind strong.

Lastly, I got to travel and see parts of this country I never thought I would see. I traveled back home to spend my birthday with family and friends and to cap off the summer, I had my bachelorette party with some of the most fiercest women I am honored to know.

Where I am getting with all of this?  I am a constant work in progress. I am not sure where my journey will take me but  I am excited to get back into writing and not letting my anxiety get the best of me.  Accepting that I am in a transitional point in my life, trying to find my path but ready to take on the challenges.

Finding myself in New York has been a struggle but I guess that’s why they say “if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere!”

Till next time…

– Steph

photo: Ivan Conrad