Did you ever just imagine what your life would be like as a kid and now that you’re an actual adult, life is nothing like you would have ever imagined? I reflect on this question often. As I am about to take another journey around the sun, I have been doing some major reflection on my year and what life continues to teach me. A major one for me this year was self-acceptance. Learning to not only accept myself but also forgive myself for the expectations that I am not even sure I set for myself or if someone else set them for me.
Being in a career where we feed off acceptance is just part of the job. Who exactly are we looking to find acceptance from? Here’s a few of the many people that I can think of … Most important, we don’t get hired by a company if someone doesn’t approve of us. We seek constant acceptance from our teachers and coaches to know that we are on the right path. Acceptance from colleagues to feel we are worthy of sharing the stage with them. Acceptance from our family and friends in the life choices we are making. Much of my life was gather from acceptance from other people. Well what I have come to realize is: WHO CARES?
I am realizing, as I get older, I am more confident in the person I am. I am learning that it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. I accept my friends for who they are, no conditions or acceptance necessary. I feel fortunate to have made friends from all different surroundings and thankful to each one for what they add to my life.
Most people who have issues with you are really projecting something they don’t accept about themselves on to you. I know who I am and what I offer as a person. Other things I accept, is that I will never lead a “normal” life as some might hope for me. While I might sometimes struggle, I wouldn’t change it. I know my path will lead me exactly to the point where I need to be.
To the part I am working on, being a more confident performer. It’s funny where the one area I feel I should be the most confident in acceptance in is where I am the most insecure. I have been figuring out how to battle these demons and still haven’t quite figured it out but no one can just figure everything out. I just hope for the day where that negative voice disappears and I walk onto a stage feeling completely confident. I am always a work in progress.
Every year is a growing pain and it’s been a year since I moved from Miami and began a new chapter. This year has had many bumps but what great story is easy?
I can honestly say I am excited for the journey that lies ahead. I’ve had the opportunity to be a part of many great and new projects outside of opera and it’s really made me grow more as an artist. I made a new years resolution to be open to any artistic adventures and never limit myself to a box because you never know what else you are capable of. I guess what they say is true. With age, really does come wisdom.
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” – Theodore Roosevelt